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by Allhumdulilah For Everything! on Thursday, 09 September 2010 at 14:51
Without realizing, a person begins to adopt the style and behaviour of his friends. We are all witness to this fact. Sadly, I can recall many incidents where those who were pious, religious and of good character lost all their good qualities because they kept company and associated with an inappropriate circle of friends.
I have also seen others who were drowning in sin and evil, who underwent a complete revolution in their lives after adopting the company of a pious person of huge moral standards.
Rasullullah has advised, “A person is on the way of his life friend. Therefore, he should think very carefully whom he is making a friend with.” (Tirmidhi, Abu Dawood)
We need friends who are sincere, genuine and true and also true in their friendship. Those who care for our well-being from every aspect are true friends.
Whereas on the other hand, worldly friends are not only a waste of time, but also on the day of Qiyamah, they will be a means of destruction.
The Quran says:
“All friends on the day of Qiyamah will be enemies of one another except the God fearing.”
(Mutaqeen) (43:67)
Here, the Quran is not saying that friends will not help or benefit each other on that day, it is saying something much stronger, that friends who were not God-fearing will be the enemies of each other on the day of Qiyamah.
Friends in the hereafter will regret making irreligious people their friends.
Allah Taala says in the Quran, “Ah, woe to me! Would that I had never taken so-and-so as a Khaleel (intimate friend)! He indeed let me astray from the reminder (This Quran) after it and came to me. And Shaytaan is ever a deserter to man (in the hour of need).” (25; 28-29)
This will be the cries of the people.
Further, Allah says:
“Our Lord! These misled us, so give them a double torment of the fire. He will say for each one is a double torment but you know not.” (7:38)
My dear friends, today we feel proud of having an elder friend who follows the path of evil. We forget that this role model of ours who is teaching us to sell drugs, to take drugs, to bully and oppress people, disobey parents and to fall prey to evil desires, is in fact taking us to hell!
Our true and only friend should be Allah but in order to attain such high stage, one needs to make good, pious people his friends.
A great point I would like to raise is the amount we hurt the hearts of our parents? How much pain do they suffer because of us?
In this day and age, friends have become more precious and valuable than our parents. For our friends, we are ready to sacrifice everything and everybody. However, one needs only to experience a tragedy to recognize a true friend.
For example: Go and sit in prison (or without having money) for a while and see how many friends come and visit. It is here that one appreciates the true love of parents.
After being sentenced to jail, the convict holds tight to his parents and cries, and says that now I realize you are only my true friends and you will see many changes in my life after I come out. This is said after going to jail because it is only our families that care enough to visit.
If friends come, then how many times do they return? They come once, twice, at the most three times, then you then find yourself sitting in jail alone, crying and you will come to understand that none is interested in coming to see you except your parents, brothers and sisters.
The poor father who you used to swear at and give abuse to. That same father who you did not even want to see or talk with, visits you every week. He takes up the cost of the lawyer, worries about the cause, and your well being.
Similarly the mother suffers sleepless nights. They do everything for you despite your torturing them in the past.
My brothers, please, for Allahs sake, pay attention to these facts and realities I am trying to put forward to you.
Beware! The prison sentence may be over in a few months, years, but the prison sentence of the hereafter may be eternal.
In the Quran, it states:
“That day shall man flee from his brother, from his mother and his father. And from his wife and his children. Every man that day will have enough to make him careless of others.” (80:34:37)
Please give this little advice of mine space in your heart. I am saying these words for our benefit with heartfelt concern from the depth of my heart.
May Allah save us all and give us the ability to act upon whatever we have just read.
Part 2:
Muslim College Life:
Dating, Drinking and Deen
Freedom. Young people live for the day when they can move out of the house and go to college and finally be free. Freedom from their parents, from restrictions on their lifestyle, from everyone telling them what to do.
This is why in college you find a whole generation that does what they want. Life's short they say, let's enjoy ourselves while we can.
So it goes for Muslims. In college you find the most amazing things, Muslims who don't pray, Muslims who date , go out to parties and drink.
Why is this happening?
For one, when students go off to university they finally realize that what they beleived in was blind. Religion becomes like a fairytale, when they got old enough, they knew better than to believe in it.
Most have little knowledge about Islam and have maybe memorized the right rituals to get by. Why beleive something on faith, they ask. After all we cannot see heaven or hell. How do we know Islam is right anyway?
Islamic culture to them means marrying someone they never knew. It means arranged marriages and never hanging out or having fun.
For girls Islamic culture has even less to offer. It would mean double standards or having to serve a husband the rest of her life.
The western alternative to this looks alot more attractive.
In western culture "love and romance" are supposedly everywhere. Everyone is out looking for love freely. Meeting someone, going out, seeking pleasure sounds alot better.
But what about the downside? For love at first sight, you need to have the right image, the right hair, the right clothes.
Girls have to aspire to be like the latest supermodels, they have to hold back age. Who's going out with who, what are my friends thinking, what will happen if I don't get the right girl or guy, what is my girlfriend or boyfriend thinking, all become important.
Frustration, desperation, and unhappiness become the norm.
Imagine all the heartache youth would save if they followed the Islamic alternative.
In true Islam, unlike culture, there is no gameplaying. If two people wish to be involved they are both straight with one another.
Unlike what goes on today amongst some Muslims, they both meet each other and make a contract to marry. Women are treated with respect, there is no sexual bombardment like there is in western society. Sex in western culture is also often seen as a vice or a sin of the flesh. But even in religious Islam, sex is seen as natural. As long as it is in the right circumstances, when the two are committed to one another in marriage.
Drinking in college is also the norm unfortunately. If you don't drink or party you're seen as weird. Drinking is cool and a way for people to socialize, meet and have fun. The one who doesn't is less of a person and 'misses out'. Drinking and all the harms that come with it is cut off at the root in Islam. So many problems are avoided, accidents, pregnancy, violence and even rape for example.
In college and in the world, success in life is not seen in terms of religion. It is seen as what other people think, one's careers, how much money they make. If you are religious you must have failed at life. But why do we have this seperation? and this blindness in religion?
The Quran tells us again and again not to have blind faith, not to folllow the religion of our forefathers.
Yet, we as Muslims have stopped thinking. We may think about what our friends or other people will say, but we avoid thinking about the real issues.
We spend so much time on the opposite sex, thinking about careers, money etc, but we forget to think about death and how much of this we will really be able to take with us?
"Every soul shall have a taste of death and only on the Day of Judgement shall you be paid your full recompense.. .for the life of this world is but goods and chattels of deception"
(Quran 3:185)
Shouldn't we take the time to comtemplate what will happen to us after we hit the grave? After all, what is the point of life if we are not accountable for our actions? If there is no creator, what is the point of being honest or good.
If we really look at our life we see that everything is indefinate, getting a job, even living until tomorrow. In fact we could die anytime, this is a definate, the _only_ dead certain thing in our life.
Most of us believe we can make up for our actions later or we can be religious later.
We are gambling.
The chances of our dying today are little, but the stakes are high. Allah reminds us of the importance of this,
"O you who beleive, obey Allah as he should be obeyed, and die not except in a state of Islam"
(Quran3:102)
Each of us needs to decide.
On the Day of Judgement it will be us alone who will be asked about our actions.
"Verily We have revealed the Book to thee in truth, for (instructing) mankind. He, then that receives guidance beinfits his own soul: but he that strays injurs his own soul..."
(Quran 39:41)
This is the true definition of freedom. To learn about Islam and the world openly. To contemplate about life and death. And after learning the truth, obeying the word of God.
"Those on whom knowledge has been bestowed may learn that the (Quran) is the truth from your Lord, and that they beleive therein, and their hearts may be made humbly (open)to it..."
(Quran 22:54)
Once students have this rock-solid intellectual beleif in Islam, the corruptness and falseness of the people around them is clear. The beauty and wisdom of the islamic way, the best alternative is clear. What other's do is of less importance. If others think they were weird to pray or weird to be honest, they would still pray and still be honest because they know their deen.
Our Quran's are left on the top shelves, gathering dust. Sometimes the most it is read is when someone dies. How is this to help, when the guidance comes too late. The Quran is for the living. The path to understanding and following Islam comes from learning first.
How many of us are Muslim, yet have never read the Quran in our native language?
How many of us are Muslim, yet have yet to open a book on hadith or sunnah?
How many of us defend Islam to non-Muslims, but do not follow it ourselves?
May Allah forgive and lead us and all those lost to the straight path.
InshaAllah.
Ameen.
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